i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Even my vagina gasped.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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