can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
