who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
