this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
There's always time for handjobs
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
