i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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