Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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