ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
