She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
