It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
