Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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