If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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