Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
