Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
