Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
be right there i have to get my cape
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
