I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
