im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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