My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
