so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
