Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
