So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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