You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
