He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
