My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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