And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
