if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
