Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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