Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
