Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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