Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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