My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
