did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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