I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
