He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
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Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
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He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.