idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
