My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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