Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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