Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
