i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
