My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
