you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
