Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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