so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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