I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?