i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I need moral support for this bender
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.