Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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