i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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