pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
