my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
