this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
