I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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