Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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