don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
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he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
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I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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