Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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