member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
