His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
