She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
