adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We were destined to go to rehab together
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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