Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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