WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
COCAINE IS GR8
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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