2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
