and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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