Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
