someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
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Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
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Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
my liver is dry heaving
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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