worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
