I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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