I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
