i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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