Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
