So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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