i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
