Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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